


Scraps

by eruthiel



Series: New River [1]
Category: MarsCorp (Podcast)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-06 09:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14053734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eruthiel/pseuds/eruthiel
Summary: David is confident of his memories up to around the time he left school.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> note the title – this is a pointless little snippet of something I found from aaaages ago and wouldn't normally consider posting by itself, but I really can't do anything with it, I'm sorry – if anybody else wants to go any further with the concept definitely please do that

David is confident of his memories up to around the time he left school. That year's MYIP is pretty clear in his mind: pride and excitement and anxiety; the pressure to prove himself worthy of his exalted internship. It was a serious honour to be taught by the head of department, everybody kept saying so.

He remembers that he was harbouring a slight crush on his new tutor-to-be (about whom he remembers absolutely nothing else). He remembers shaving each morning even though his facial hair hadn't really come in yet. He remembers taking every chance he could to hang out in the culture department, since his schedule would soon be too full for such daydreaming. He remembers trying to feign delight at the standard-issue stationery set his parents gift-wrapped for his graduation.

After that, it falls apart in his head like wet flan. He still retains some things he learned in the years that followed, things he can't account for in his surviving memories: a lot of advanced quantum physics; a lot of Earth music and cultural terms; a lot of odd, miscellaneous things.

For example, he knows without doubt that he has kissed at least one man at some point in his life. The only kiss he actually remembers was with a girl, in the vats shortly before his graduation, but the knowledge of stubble against his lips and rumble under his fingertips is lodged in there, somehow. He can't attach it to a face or name or emotion, but it's no less real for that. It's all safe somewhere in the void that is his life between the ages of sixteen and twenty-seven.

Thinking about the memories he's lost makes him uneasy, so he tries not to. He knows, because Miss Hob told him so, that he's better off without them. Whatever happened, whatever he did, it's common knowledge to everyone except himself. Sometimes he overhears things or his coworkers throw vague accusations at him, though they're technically forbidden to talk about it, even behind his back, and so he hasn't picked up enough details to piece together the truth even if he wanted to.

In his last intact memories, he was all set to become head of science someday. Clearly it didn't work out that way, and he doesn't know why, but he's surprisingly fine with it. He knows his parents are dead, but he doesn't remember their deaths or the last time he saw them, and it doesn't really bother him; he figures he must have done all his grieving already. When the robots show him kindness, he accepts it without asking why.

He also has a full beard now, and hair long enough to sit on, which takes a while to get used to. Still, something compels him to decline when a BarberBot offers to cut it off. It's a souvenir of the time he lost, something solid to prove he really lived those years – he survived a decade too terrible to remember, and if he can't be proud of it, maybe he should at least keep it in mind.

He has no recollection whatsoever of the previous base manager, but he doesn't care, because Miss Hob is so great. She's the one who erased his memories, apparently at his own request, and for that, David is extremely grateful. He doesn't like having this hole in his life, but if he made this choice freely then he knows that the alternative must be worse. Everyone says he seems healthier now, less weird, less skittish, less frightening, less prone to fits and nocturnal screaming and other nonsense.

Miss Hob asks if he's had any more trouble sleeping, which is odd, because he sleeps just fine. In his dreams, he sees people from his old life; if there are any scraps in there from his lost years, he doesn't recognise them. Often he dreams of a small, dark room – like his cupboard but different, somehow – and it feels like going home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to continue this a little bit! I have a vague idea for maybe one more chapter after this? I guess we'll see but I hope you like this anyway ❤️

The stranger in David's cupboard is almost offensively handsome, easily the most attractive person he's met this side of the hole in his memory. He introduces himself like he expects David to already know who he is, and holds out his arms for a hug. David cowers back into a corner.

"What's the matter, man?" The stranger laughs, but he sounds hurt. "Don't you remember me? I wasn't gone that long, was I?"

David shakes his head stiffly. Nobody has ever talked to him like this before, never ever, gently chiding and wheedlingly affectionate. The stranger takes a step closer, then furrows his perfect brow when David whimpers and shrinks even further in on himself.

"What on Mars has gotten into you, David? I thought you'd be pleased to see me."

"I'm sorry," David squeaks. "I really don't remember you."

"Excuse me?"

"I-it's nothing personal. I had my memories erased for, ah, medical reasons. I don't actually remember anything of the last eleven years."

The stranger's eyebrows shoot up. His expression doesn't suggest horror or alarm so much as benevolent interest, though it's hard to tell what faces mean at the best of times, and this one is already being schooled into something more neutral. "Well, well, I wasn't counting on that. You don't remember a single thing about interning with me?"

"No. I-I know I interned with the head of science, but that's all."

"That's me, all right! Or it was, I suppose." The stranger taps his chin. "My, this does leave us in a bit of a conundrum, doesn't it?"

"Does it?"

"I would say so. I came here looking for my old assistant – to get the old crew back together, you know. But here you are and as far as you're concerned, we were never a crew to begin with." A thoughtful grin spreads across his face, lighting up his dark eyes. "Still, this could be good for us. A chance to start again."

Whatever that means, David doesn't like the sound of it. As beautiful as this man is, something about him – a memory David can no longer access with his conscious mind – is ringing alarm bells deep in his nervous system. "I-I don't... I'm sorry, but I don't think I can. Whoever I used to be to you, I'm not that person anymore. That part of my life is gone now, it's all been wiped clean – for a good reason."

"Oh, yes? And what reason would that be?"

"I... I don't know. But I don't want to find out. I'm happier now."

The stranger steps right up to David and rests both his hands on the walls either side of him, hemming him in. His lovely pretty face is inches away now; it's pale in the gloom, but his eyes are like the void as they study every line of David's frightened face. At length he says, "Don't be scared, buddy," very softly, as if he were talking to a wild animal.

That's exactly how David feels in this moment: every muscle tensed to flee; primal instincts screaming at him to take care, to return to the safety of his own den. Except this cupboard is his den, and here is his supposed predator already, making itself at home and sizing him up as a snack. He has nowhere to hide.

"I know you, David," warns the stranger, "probably better than you do yourself, now. But we can fix that. 'I don't want to find out'? The real David Knight would never say that."

"I'm the real David Knight," David protests, but he doesn't feel certain. The stranger seems very certain.

"You used to be a scientist, the best scientist I ever knew. That curious kid is still in there somewhere, I know it." David's heart hammers as the stranger reaches up and gently tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. "Don't worry, buddy. We're going to get you back to normal in no time."


End file.
